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Sexuality and Intimacy in the Older Adult Woman

Sex and the Adult Female with Cancer

They plague most of us who are women. Especially those of us who sleep with men. For whom sex is more performative than it is pleasurable. Who have had unprotected sex — not because they really wanted to, but because they felt like a buzzkill for insisting on a condom. Who have yet to articulate their true desires, even in long-term, supportive relationships. These problems are not the stuff of high school.

What I learned talking to 120 women about their sex lives and desires

Women over age 50 are having sex — and developing STIs — at a higher rate than commonly believed. The notion that women lose interest in sexual activity after menopause has collapsed under scientific scrutiny. Of those who were dissatisfied, more than half said they would prefer having sex more often. Many smaller studies corroborate the WHI results.
Male desire is a familiar story. We scarcely bat an eyelash at its power or insistence. In , as experts weighed the moral and medical implications of the first female libido drug , I found myself unsatisfied with the myths of excess and deficit on offer, and set out to understand how women themselves perceive and experience their passions. Over the course of five years, I talked with women and dozens of sexual health professionals. My reporting took me from coast to coast, and spanned conversations from a year-old convinced she was sexually damaged to a year-old learning how to orgasm.